I'm Planning My Funeral
No, I'm not
expecting to die very soon! Read on. In the evening
of May 19, 2004, my wife and I were in an automobile accident. I
was taken to a hospital and checked for injuries. None were found, and I was
released from the hospital. Two days later I was back in the hospital as a "code
blue" emergency. My ribs were broken during the accident, and they punctured my
lungs. When I was admitted to the Intensive Care Unit, my oxygen level was very
low. And, while in the ICU, I developed a serious case of pneumonia. I was in the ICU for four weeks and was unconscious for most
of that time. My Mormon Priesthood leader visited me even though I was unconscious and
didn't know he was there. He asked a nurse about my chances for survival, and
she said, "He doesn't have any. Unless he has a strong body, he won't make it."
Twice during the four weeks my family was called in because I wasn't expected to
make it through the night. The first time my family was called in, my wife was
in a different hospital recovering from her injuries and couldn't come to my
hospital; her brother went to her bedside while my children came to mine.
Thanks to the
grace of God, the skill of the hospital staff, and to my strong body as a
runner, I did make it. I mention my strong body as a runner, because after I
left the ICU, I went to a different hospital for therapy. The first time I tried
to stand by myself, I could only do it for two seconds. I had to learn to walk:
first just standing until my legs could support my body, then using a wheel chair, then a walker, then a cane, and finally by myself.
During my 10 days in therapy, when a new nurse would come into the room, she
would say, "So, you're the runner."
When I left the hospital I couldn't walk up stairs very well and needed a
banister so I could pull myself up the stairs. During a month of home therapy at
my sister-in-law's house, my wife and I took daily walks and were walking a mile
when we went to our own home. A week after arriving home, I went for my first
run and could only go 1/8 mile before I had to stop. I was a former marathoner
and was running about 15 miles a week when the accident occurred, and now I
could only run 1/8 mile. But, I was alive!
During the next
year, I had surgery for a double hernia, 10 surgeries for very large Basal Cell
skin cancers, and my gall bladder removed. That year was not easy, but I
continued to run each week except for a couple of weeks after the hernia and
gall bladder surgeries.
During the two years since the accident, I have
gone from a run of 1/8 mile to four
runs totaling 30 miles per week, the longest run being 13 miles. In two
weeks, on August 19, 2006, I will run the Great Salt Lake Half Marathon from
Clearfield, Utah to Antelope Island in the lake (no, this isn't a triathlon, and
I'll be running on a causeway rather than swimming). Hopefully in 2007 I'll run
another half-marathon. My other running goals are to run a half-marathon
in less than 2 hours, and to run a half-marathon at any speed at age 100.
After
recovering from the accident, I realized that life is fragile -- it could end at
any moment, and I decided to plan my own funeral, because I wanted it to achieve
certain goals. Well, not plan it, because my wife and children need to be free
to do that, but to specify a few things to be included in the funeral. We
Latter-day Saints believe that we are here in mortality to learn and grow to be
like Jesus Christ. To learn from our trials. To learn to be loving, kind, and
forgiving like Jesus. We believe that when our loved ones pass on, they do so as
a graduation from mortality. They do so as a reunion with their loved ones who
have gone on before. As Brigham Young said, "We watch the ship as it disappears
over the horizon, and we say, 'It's gone.' At that moment, others say, 'Here it
comes." Because of this, I want my funeral to be a celebration of the Atonement
of Jesus Christ. I want it to be a time of rejoicing and happiness. Yes, my
family will have sorrow at my passing, but not because I'm gone forever. They
will mourn my absence but will rejoice that I've gone on to the next phase of my
growth. They will rejoice that I will be there to greet them when they leave
this life; I will be there to say, "Welcome!"
So, here are
the things I want in my funeral. My family already knows this, and I'm going
public with this list in the hopes that it may help some who are burdened with grief and sorrow, that it may help them rejoice in the Atonement and the
hope of the resurrection.
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