Limericks

 A maiden at college, Miss Keyes,
 Weighed down by B.A.'s and M.D.'s,
 Collapsed from the strain,
 Said her doctor, "It's plain
 You are killing yourself-by degrees!"

 There once was a student named Dresser,
 Whose knowledge got lesser and lesser.
 It at last grew so small,
 He knew nothing at all;
 And now he's a college professor!

 A cheese that was aged and gray
 Was walking and talking one day.
 Said the cheese, "Kindly note
 My mamma was a goat
 And I'm made out of curds...by the whey!

 To manage to keep up a brain
 Is no easy job, it is plain;
 That's why a great many
 Don't ever use any,
 Thus avoiding the care and the strain!

 A puppy whose hair was so flowing
 There really was no way of knowing
 Which end was his head,
 Once stopped me and said,
 "Please, sir, am I coming or going?"

 There once were some learned MD's
 Who found a new kind of disease.
 They bottled and hawked it,
 And then they uncorked it
 So thousands could catch it with ease.

 "There is", said an envious ermine,
 "One thing I just cannot determine;
 When some girl wears my coat,
 She's a person of note;
 When I wear it, they call me vermin!

 And last, but not least, some therapeutic advice from the avian kingdom:

 There were three little birds in a wood,
 Who always sang hymns when they could.
 What the words were about
 They could never make out,
 But they felt it was doing them good!